God Loved Me Before I Knew Him

In 2012, I hit rock bottom. I was utterly lost, addicted to drugs, and recently lost custody of my two kids. I had nothing to my name. With nowhere else to turn, I screamed out to God. After 14 years of doing things my way, I was tired of trying life alone.

I had a friend who had turned her life around some years before. We would randomly cross paths, and she would tell me when I was ready to change, there was a place I could go called H-town Dream Center. So I decided to go to her church one Sunday and sat in the back pew. Little did I know, I showed up looking for her, but I left meeting Jesus. I went up to the front of the church that morning and surrendered to Him. As I turned around, I noticed my friend sitting in the front row, smiling.

She helped connect me with the Dream Center, where I met Mrs. Shannon. She hugged me, prayed with me, provided me with clothes and hygiene products, and showed me to my bed. My bed! It had been quite some time since I had a bed to lay my head on.

Even though I had just met this woman, I knew she loved me. I could feel it.

Mrs. Shannon and her staff believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. I started to hope again. They mentored me daily in my relationship with Christ and helped restore my sense of worth and dignity. But, shortly after my arrival, I went to the doctor, and they came to congratulate me on my pregnancy. I freaked out! I already had two kids I couldn't care for. I didn't deserve another.

I became angry at God. I just wanted to take this time to get to know Him more. There was no way I could add another baby to the mess that was my life. So I decided I would have an abortion. I returned to the Dream Center and told Mrs. Shannon I couldn't have this baby. I'll never forget; she hugged me, anointed my head with oil, and prayed over me. That night I went to my bed, opened my Bible, and found the scripture that said, "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." God was with me. He loved me. He had given me hope for the first time in a long time.

From shooting up meth just a few months before to now being here and pregnant with this baby, I began to realize God had His hand over me and my daughter's life before I even knew Him. God loved me before I knew Him. So I knew that I couldn't have an abortion. His plan was already proving to be much better than mine had been.

My precious baby girl, Harper Grace, is now five years old. And after some time, I regained custody of my two oldest boys, Carter and Hudson. Then, a bonus surprise came, and I had another son, Hendrix, who is now two years old.

I am forever grateful to H-town Dream Center for opening their doors to me and showing me unconditional love as Christ loves me. I've now become a recovery coach and started my own business. I never miss an opportunity to share how God has turned my mess into His message of hope and healing. What He has done for me, He is willing to do for anyone! We are all His children.