Empty, Alone and Hopeless

Early in my childhood, my family was really close, but the older I got, the more I noticed dad wasn't around much during the week. He left for work before we got up for school and didn't come home until after we went to bed. Seeing him home for dinner was rare because he chose to go to the bar instead. When I was ten, my parents decided to separate, and things started to go downhill for me.

Because of my resentment toward my father, I started smoking cigarettes. He was gone for a few months, but they decided to try and work things out. I quickly realized my dad hadn't changed, but my mom would do whatever he wanted to make him happy. They would go to the bar together and leave my siblings and me at home alone. This continued until mom noticed that we began to resent her, so after three years, they finally divorced.

My mom then became more like a friend than a parent. We began partying together, and it wasn't long until we were doing drugs like weed and meth together. By age 15, I got kicked out of school for having drugs and chose to finish out in home school. By 17, mom and I were evicted from our apartment, and I was forced to go live with my father. I was sober for a few months but relapsed, and my dad kicked me out. So at age 17, I was homeless and couch surfing between a few friends' houses.

By age 19, I got off the hardcore drugs, and this time it stuck for a while. I met a guy named Daniel, who had three kids. We began hanging out a lot, and I became like a mother figure to the kids. Shortly after, I became pregnant, and Emily was born on May 2, 2009. Daniel and I stayed together for another two years but then we separated.

A few years later, I met another guy named Thomas, and we began dating. He was a drug user, and I returned to my old habits with him. We got pregnant, and I tried to stop using, but he wouldn't. Finally, it was too much for me to be around, so I left him. Mary Ann was later born without her father around.

After another drug relapse in 2019 due to my best friend passing away, I was left feeling empty, lonely and hopeless. I knew I had to change. And by the grace of God, I found H-town Dream Center.